Start With You!  (Evanston Living, August 2022)

 Most people who want to learn about themselves, do so through having a relationship. Depending on the kind of relationship, being open and vulnerable is required and that often means working with one’s own and others’ sensitivity.  This can make the energy of relationships more than palpable as we start to gauge eachother(and them you).  We also dwell on things long after others have moved on with their lives because we are still learning from our mistakes. Forgiveness of self, especially when we find ourselves in challenging situations, is a beneficial response to allowing things to continue to flow in order to move on.

 We all feel relationships differently. There is much more going on than what we see through the lense of our societal and cultural conditioning. We are seeing soul agreements from past lives, and karma we want to work out this time around. Relationships are what makes the entire world go around. Our personal relationships have changed recently through these intense last 3 year.

We also have many more relationships than we realize churning inside us. Relationships such as our own spiritual connection to the Earth, to our own higher consciousness, and to our body, mind and spirit. This is very real but not given as much validation as other kinds. In my eyes, the self-relationship is the most important of them all as it is never ending. From that relationship with oneself stems all other kinds of external relationships. These are with our jobs and collaborators, our families and neighbors, and even between nations.

As a spiritual teacher I connect with spirit more than many and teach others to work with their intuitive abilities with meditative techniques and practical tools to make it easy to work with their innerself. As such, I have to work on my response and reactions in real time. For example, when we choose our parents and enter a soul agreement with them and that includes the biological process as that what it takes to make a body. We also can feel very connected to someone outside of the closed unit who feels like family, they quite possibly were but not this life. Right up to the moment when it is time for our biological or chosen parent to enter the spirit world, we are faced with all kinds of opportunities to make peace with them and clear our karma (and they with us). It is when they are completely in the world of spirit, the relationship continues but without the involvement of mind and body. It is easy to understand why unresolved issues persist if we don’t make peace with who they are in good time.

As an ordained non-denominational minister, I have assisted people on both sides. The ones who are getting ready to die and the ones who are left to process the loss. The ones leaving their body often review and look at where they had significant relationships and how they wish it could have been different or simply enjoy what they experienced. And it comes down to the most important of all relationships – Self.

Self-awareness is key. Karma is a simple cause and effect. How we choose to respond is what makes us the effect of someone else’s actions; or be the cause where others are affected by your actions. Sometimes, we ourselves are the reason why someone else can’t let go of the past. Exploring self forgiveness is a huge answer.

Can we let go and live? The answer is Yes! Start with you.

Zubin Sherring